Dear Whatsapp,
Your sudden disappearance yesterday came as a huge shock to all of us. Considering the closeness between us, that frightening event left me all panicky. Never had you gone away without leaving a message behind. So many thoughts came running through my mind at the same time.
First of, knowing the dire security security situation we find ourselves in, I considered you had been kidnapped by the marauding herdsmen or kidnappers who have defiantly taken us by the jugular. I had to increase the ring volume of my phone, so as not to miss any call, in the event that your captors decide to reach out.
After waiting for hours, my fears hit heightened proportions. Could you have committed suicide? Hell no, I retorted rhetorically. You had no reason to do such. Afterall, you remain the world’s most appealing messaging platform and an envy among your peers.
Alas, a call from an unidentified number came in and I answered with a subdued tone in anticipation that it was from your impounders; I eventually recognized the voice as that of a mutual friend. He enquired if I had heard from you lately and I responded unaffirmatively.
He suggested we ransack your apartment for a possible suicide note. Reluctantly, I bought the idea. Afterall, an African adage says it is better to live with the reality that a loved one is demised than to go through the trauma of searching endlessly for a missing person.
In my frenzied moment of thoughtful engrossment, it dawned on me that you might have been given the Twitter treatment. Not oblivious of the fact that we now live in a pariah state where free speech amounts to an endangered virtue, I felt a sense of conviction that I had finally unravelled the mystery. Events proved me wrong.
Amid the ensuing hysteria and conspiracy theories, a much desired official statement came through that despite a slight glitch, you were relatively safe. Only at that moment did I heave a sigh of relief. Afterwards, it didn’t come as a surprise when u walked majestically back home just before midnight.
Juxtaposing the swiftness with which you reacted to that “minor” attack to the aloof response of our government to an unending onslaught on forlorn Nigerians is a testament that a huge chunk of our problems is birthed by leadership clumsiness.
Only a greenhorn masquerading as a leader depends on the rub of the green to make a meaningful impact. Leadership is about hearkening to the yearnings of the people while taking a definitive stand on pressing issues. Indeed, communication is key. Welcome back!!
martinsemenogu03@gmail.com
