Forgiveness is a complex concept, and it can mean many things to many people. In general, however, it involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who offended you. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy, and compassion for the one who hurt you. To forgive is to release or let go. The primary dictionary meaning of forgiveness is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. However, to bring about the healing process with all its compassion and wise understanding, one might extend forgiveness, whether asked for or not. Such an act of compassion, an act of self-healing, an exercise of the will, from one’s deepest heart, serves, in the best of all possible ways, not only the one who receives it but the one who gives it. True forgiveness is a two-way street, and we both release the offender and heal ourselves. When we can release the offender as the one who has offended us and begin to focus on him or her as not a terrible person but a person who has done something terrible, then we are ready to seek forgiveness. This moves from a focus on the self as offended to a focus on the other as a person in need of mercy, and an extension of compassion begins the work of healing in our souls and the restoration of healthy interpersonal interaction. As we begin to heal through our forgiving, we discover that we are taking on one of the greatest privileges given to us as human beings, which is to share in the divine work of forgiveness. For it is only through the active love and grace of the divine that we can ever hope to grow and heal as persons, and it is in sharing this love and grace with the one who has offended us that lasting recovery and reconciliation are truly found.
Carrying anger and resentment in a relationship is like a poison that kills from within. When we hold grudges, we carry wounds from our past into the present, and that can put a strain on the relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and problems and misunderstandings are bound to happen. But forgiving each other and letting go of the past strengthens the relationship, allowing both parties to move forward with love and commitment. Conflict in relationships can be a signpost to show that something needs to change. Conflict can also strengthen relationships if both parties are committed to finding a resolution and working through the situation. Through resolution, the other side may be heard and acknowledged, and a new level of understanding and appreciation may be reached. It is also possible that the relationship will move to a new level of health and connectedness as a result of going through the conflict respectfully. When we learn how to forgive in a relationship, love can deepen, and relationships can be strengthened. Well-managed conflict and forgiveness help people feel more joy and ease in their lives. A heated argument or lengthy stress from a conflict can flood the body with corrosive hormones, which raise blood pressure, increase heart rates, and put us at a higher risk of stroke and death. And the release of those hormones takes time and can damage the immune system. So, if a person practices forgiveness, they may have less of this chemical production and reduce the possibility of many stress-related health issues as well.
Identify the intervention and prevention strategies that are most effective at fostering forgiveness in your life. Always keep in mind that, East or West, forgiveness is a universally spiritual act and is considered a most noble and virtuous practice. By introducing and educating ourselves on the power of forgiveness and reintegration, we will develop a new life of peace and tranquility. It is important to remember that forgiving is a choice, and it is made easier when people take the step to realize that holding onto the past is the problem. Through forgiveness, people stop defending themselves and, instead, release the potential for a brighter today and a much more desired tomorrow.
